How to learn to snowboard with enduring the least amount of pain!

For any of you that have tried snowboarding you know that it is one of the most frustrating sports. When you were sliding on your butt down half the mountain I know you regreted your desire to learn . Im going to take you back to that first day and teach you things you wished you knew before hitting the slopes. These steps will help you to have a good time and to be able to get out of bed the next morning, if you made it that far.

GOOD CONDITIONS/ SMALL CROWDS:
First off, the most vital part of this day is going to have to be good conditions. If youre learning to ride at Mountain Creek, the nearest mountain to Sussex, you might want to found out if its a solid sheet of ice (which it usually is); if so, re think your desire or go and immediatly buy a bottle of asprin. Which you might need later anyway. Make sure you dont go in the middle of the afternoon on a saturday. That is the worst time to try and learn to snowboard. By that time there will be a ton of inner city kids thinking they can bomb the hill without hitting anything. And your likely to be the one getting hit. Try and avoid crowded areas and popular trails, if you do not avoid these areas, your chances of killing or being killed are very very great.

PROTECTION AND OUTERWEAR:
You might be called a Tourist or a goon ( even though your not) but I would suggest showing up in full protection gear. I mean, helmet, butt pads, knee pads, elbow pads, anything that you can find to prevent less pain for the next day. Also you need to wear the basics. You will want to wear a couple layers of shirts and thermals underneath a heavy winter jacket. (Try not to bundle up so much that you look like the boy in "A Christmas Story", your going to need to move.) Youre also going to need gloves and a hat. And goggles or a pair of sunglasses to protect your eyes if you just so happen to go off the trail into the woods where there are many branches ready to impail your eyes. And obviously your going to need a snowboard. You need it to be the right size, if its too big your going to have a hard time steering yourself away from large objects. Your snowboard when up against you should reach just below your chin.

GETTING ON AND OFF THE LIFT:
Most people have no prior knowledge to how a chairlift works. A chair lift is an uncomfortable chair that lifts you mechanically to the top of the mountain. And might just be one of the most dangerous areas that cannot be avoided. Getting on will seem like a peice of cake if you have any common sense but unloading is the tricky part. You will most likely be on the chairlift with atleast 3 other people who also are not very fond of the lift. Your main objective here is to fall. You can try and stay balanced while riding with one foot strapped in, but chances are its more graceful when you are expecting impact. Falling will cause extreme inconvience to others on the lift waiting to unload because now you have caused a traffic jam as the lift stops and allows you time to struggle to your feet and get to a safe place where you can sit and complain to your friend all the reasons the chair and the other people on the chairlift made you fall. You will get better with this as time goes on.

FRIENDS WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR:
When I was first learning to ride I was absoulty terrible. I didnt even know the difference between the front and back of my snowboard, resulting in riding in multiple directions. That is not good. Make sure you are being taught by a friend with a sense of humor and extreme amounts of patience and one who really does know how to snowboard. After many many attempts of getting up and trying to ride down the hill your going to need someone to laugh because you certaintly wont be.

IMPORTANT STEPS OF MAKING IT DOWN THE MOUNTAIN ALIVE:
Well make sure your friend is close by you at all times because if you need direction as your spinning wildly down the hill you know you can always look at them as they are laughing at you. Also you know their close by so that when your fall finally comes they will be there to help you up and continue to laugh at you. Before hitting the mountain make sure you urge them that you want to learn how to stop FIRST; before learning anything about your toe edge and heel edge. Believe me, you wont get that far by the first day.

SURVIVAL:
If you made it this far you should be extremely proud of yourself and thankful if your friend is still by your side, and still laughing. Be sure to take your bruises and ice burn with pride and show it off the next day in school and tell everyone how good you are at snowboarding, clearly lieing. Most importantly, remember that asprin you bought at the begging of the day? Well I suggest taking atleast three, going straight home and going to bed. Try not to cry when you wake up in the morning, and your not able to get up out of bed. Use all your strength to get up, put on all those layers and protection gear and go do it all over again until you get better and better. Have love and passion for the sport and most importantly have fun.